Sunday, June 15, 2014
Last night before I went to bed, I decided to Google my father's name and see if I could find where he was located. I found a few similar names and then I found one in El Paso, TX. I wasn't sure if it was him or not, so I decided to reach out to one of my cousins through Facebook. She answered me today and gave me the phone number to my last living uncle in Canada. I called him today and found out the inevitable: my father passed away two years ago in Texas. As I talked to my 85 year old uncle and aunt, I realized that these people were the only ones who extended a Christian hand of help and fellowship to my father. They originally wanted to have him live with them in Canada but since he was ill, he was forced to go and live with my older half brother, Javier. For the past 15 years, my father lived in a nursing home. I never sent a letter, or called or visited him. Excuses...I could give them, but as an adult, is there really a good excuse for not getting in touch with your father? We are called to honor our father and mother and even if we have a past history of unresolved issues, they are still the parents that God chose for us. Today, I am grieving...mostly because I failed. I failed to have the courage to step up and make a simple phone call. I failed to answer a letter that was sent to me many, many years ago. Am I ashamed? Yes, I am. So, today when many are celebrating and rejoicing, I am crying real tears of sorrow for a person who gave me life. A man who was very simple to many but a man who did the best he could with the little resources that he had. I only have memories of him during my childhood and today and every day when I think of him, I will choose to remember him as a man who believed that music was important in the lives of his children. A man who just wanted to have people love and accept him.