Addiction to self

> I'll let you in on a secret, I love shopping online at amazon.com! I think I would rather shop there than go to a store and push around a cart from aisle to aisle only to pick up more than I had ever intended. As I was looking at my mountain of books today, it dawned on me that I might have a problem. Yes, for fear of admitting that I have a problem, I will confess...I have an addiction. The sad thing, is that I know this and I know why I have a problem. When I was a little kid, I was really poor. Poor as in having only 2 skirts to wear to school everyday. One was pink and the other was a darker pink. My clothes were shabby, my shoes were falling apart, and I'm sure my hair was a rat's nest since I didn't understand that you don't brush wavy,thick hair. I suppose I could go and seek professional help and fork over 150.00 an hour for someone to probe and ask questions, but I have gone down that road and know that the person who has the answers is sitting right here in front of this screen. Our minds are extremely powerful. We can either listen to positive uplifting thoughts, or we can dwell in the pit of negative thoughts. That is where Jesus comes in. Since I have filled my mind with scripture, Bible studies, inspirational books and messages, the negative thoughts are not overwhelming. In fact, they have grown tamer and are not such a nuisance throughout the day. I've lived life just doing my own thing and not having a care for how my actions affected others. That type of life is empty, lonely, and absolutely dismal. Living a selfish day to day existence, focuses your attention on how you compare to others around you. You try and measure your self-worth by how many friends you have on Facebook, how many texts you get during the hour, how many people want to "hang out" with you during the week. Its a life that is focused on well placed lipstick and fancy cars. A life that eventually leads to a major dead end. This summer means a great deal to me. Its the summer that I will finally overcome my addiction. I will focus on being a contributor to life and slowly shed the layers of dead skin that have suffocated the living, breathing cells of rebirth and growth. I will most likely fall a few dozen times, but I will get up and try again. Its in the getting back up where we learn the greatest lessons about our will. This time instead of doing it all by myself, I'll hang on to Jesus and let Him transform me from the inside out.