The East Coast Experience, Part 1

This has been the week of vacation! Monday I went to Disney California for the first time and I had the greatest time! I told myself that no matter what, I was going to enjoy myself and just refuse to get caught up in negative attitudes, or unforeseen circumstances. I witnessed melt downs on the tram even before people got in the park and I started to think how people really takes their chances when they are traveling with kids. You also have to carry around a stroller packed with a crazy amount of snacks, water, diapers, a change of clothes etc. Do those people really have fun? Well, if they do they win the award for most patient and positive parent. Wednesday I tried to leave San Diego in a timely fashion to get to NYC. No such luck...my flight was delayed for four hours and I missed an opportunity to travel into the city at night. It seems that it is tropical storm/hurricane season on the East Coast. Its such a strange phenomenon when you think that it is summertime yet here are these flash floods, lightning strikes, and gusting winds. People here seem to take it all in stride. They whip out their umbrellas, they jump the puddles, and they run to their destinations with an eager determination. I have had the joy of walking in the rain and also getting drenched in less than 24 hours. Nothing is going to stop me from enjoying my vacation/conference. I came here to enjoy, learn, experience, rejuvenate, and walk away inspired for the rest of the year. Spending time with people, going places, reading books, listening to speakers, going to concerts, journaling, sipping tea and coffee, and eating wonderful food. This is what this experience is for me and for it all I am thankful to be alive and grateful that I can take this time in my life to just enjoy!

Are you a good listener?

Today, I start my morning with a cup full of Intelligentsia coffee, various journals, a Bible, highlighters, a pen, and my heart. I have what some would say is a "weeping heart." If I see a stray animal on the street I will think for a few minutes about that animal and hope beyond all hope that it has a home. I will also worry that it might be hit by an oncoming car and then I start to think of it lying on the side of the road in pain. Then I start to weep inside. That is me when it comes to people. I care beyond what is probably healthy and I encourage beyond what any cheerleader could possibly cheer for. When I call you friend, I am your friend for life. Not just a temporary fix during a summer program, or a temporary friend till someone better or smarter comes along. I never received the memo for levels of friendship or friends on sale. I am there if you are poor, rich, famous, sick, healthy, or successful. I wish people would know that about me and really embrace that. I have always been a good listener,faithful, loyal, compassionate, sarcastic, and humorous friend. I am such a good listener that more often than not, I will spend time focusing on the other person so much, that I will leave with the feeling that I didn't really say much about my life and share the burdens of my heart. I will not have shared that I am partaking in three Bible studies and that each one is impacting my character in a major way. I will not have shared that I am wondering if I really have any close friends since I only talk to them once a year. I also will not have shared that I am praying to God each day for a family of my own and that I am depending on God alone to help shape me into the woman that would be a good wife and mother. I also will not have had the chance to share that sometimes I realize that I really am alone. God is here, and I'm grateful for His presence, but according to the world, I am a loner. Its not that I don't enjoy solitude, but I notice it more when I have spent time with someone and then as I walk away it hits me that, "wow, I don't do this very often." I love people. I enjoy hearing about their funny moments. I enjoy hearing their random revelations when they were shopping in Target. I love sharing laughter with them. I am just not so sure how they always feel about me. This has been my way of life for my entire life and some days, I really don't mind. Lately, I do mind. Mostly because I have more space and time that is free. I have time to really think and not be burdened with the day's obstacles. I have freedom that is unusual and with that freedom is a certain unrest. Yesterday, I was reading from a wonderful devotional entitled, "If We Could Have Coffee..." by Holley Gerth. Its a great way to start the morning because it feels as though you are having coffee and chatting with a person who is really invested in your life. One of the best quotes that I read that really penetrated my heart was "There's one thing no other person in the world can do better than you, and that's simply being you...You are made in the image of God, and there's a part of who he is that only shows up in this world through you." Wow! Those words define my entire life. I have always wanted to be special and made to feel that way by my family and friends. To know that God feels that way about me is certainly more than I could have asked for! I don't want to walk around with an empty cup hoping that people will throw some spare change my way. I want a quality investment. The time I spend with God each morning is making me realize that in order to have any lasting, meaningful relationships, I have to get right with Him first. My first relationship of great importance is with Jesus. How I pray, meditate, praise,listen and cry out to Him is more important than any best friend this world affords. Listening and waiting have been my greatest challenges these past few weeks. So, am I really a good friend? Am I being the type of friend to others that I want to be towards me? Am I really a good listener? What is God trying to teach me at this very moment? I believe I can live a Limitless Life. I believe that the labels that have defined me, are just that, labels. I can rip them off and replace them with others. Or, I can just be the unique masterpiece that God created me to be.#earstohear

Let it Go

Today's sermon topic was "Let it Go" by Pastor Kevin Nguyen from Saddleback Irvine. (He preached at all of the services today instead of Pastor Rick)I volunteer each week to moderate the chat session as the sermon is being played via video feed. Today, I decided to watch during the 11 a.m. hour and lo and behold the moderator that is normally on the schedule needed a sub. I listened, typed up sermon notes, and answered questions for 2 1/2 hours. Its very enjoyable to interact with people all over the United States and also around the world. The Good News is available to people 24/7 via online sermons, videos, and social media. If you are connected to the internet, you can connect to a wealth of resources. That is why I am so thankful to Saddleback Online Campus for all of the great sermons I have listened to over the past year. I am instantly reminded that God loves me and loves you too! This weekend, I had two days filled with rehearsals, lessons, a wedding, and a performance. I thrive with that great amount of pressure, but I also run around with an anxious heart and racing thoughts as to how I will accomplish everything in a timely, orderly, and professional manner. I had my small group pray for me, I prayed for me, and then I just let it go. There comes a time when you have to trust and have faith that everything will get done and that a successful outcome will take place. Today, I am thinking of decisions I made and wondering if I made the right choice. In the sermon, Pastor Nguyen made 3 points: 1. We must let go of our comfort zones 2.Cultures and Traditions 3. Relationships We clear out space so that we can receive blessings. In return God blesses us with: A New Destination B. A New Family C. A New Legacy God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things in the lives of others. God blesses you so that you can bless others.#frompurposelesstopurposeful I have to trust that when God closes one door, another will open and that even though I must leave some good things behind, there will be a greater abundance on the other side of the next door. When I think that my words don't have much weight to them or that I am too damaged to be much good for God's purposes, I am reminded that I can let it go and take a step of faith that God will bless me when I run to Him with full belief that He is more than anything here on Earth. Nothing is more important than serving God!

Father's Day

Last night before I went to bed, I decided to Google my father's name and see if I could find where he was located. I found a few similar names and then I found one in El Paso, TX. I wasn't sure if it was him or not, so I decided to reach out to one of my cousins through Facebook. She answered me today and gave me the phone number to my last living uncle in Canada. I called him today and found out the inevitable: my father passed away two years ago in Texas. As I talked to my 85 year old uncle and aunt, I realized that these people were the only ones who extended a Christian hand of help and fellowship to my father. They originally wanted to have him live with them in Canada but since he was ill, he was forced to go and live with my older half brother, Javier. For the past 15 years, my father lived in a nursing home. I never sent a letter, or called or visited him. Excuses...I could give them, but as an adult, is there really a good excuse for not getting in touch with your father? We are called to honor our father and mother and even if we have a past history of unresolved issues, they are still the parents that God chose for us. Today, I am grieving...mostly because I failed. I failed to have the courage to step up and make a simple phone call. I failed to answer a letter that was sent to me many, many years ago. Am I ashamed? Yes, I am. So, today when many are celebrating and rejoicing, I am crying real tears of sorrow for a person who gave me life. A man who was very simple to many but a man who did the best he could with the little resources that he had. I only have memories of him during my childhood and today and every day when I think of him, I will choose to remember him as a man who believed that music was important in the lives of his children. A man who just wanted to have people love and accept him.

Diamond in the rough

Today was a typical Saturday of teaching. People showed up, we talked, they played or sang, and then I bid them adieu. My friend Mark texted me to find out where I was located so that he could drop off money that he owed me. I went and waited for him in my car with the windows down, enjoying the breeze of the afternoon. He drives up and we start chatting and I realize during the conversation that I had him figured out all wrong. I've known him since my Chamber Singers days when I attended Southwestern College. He hung out with some people that were typical college kids and I really thought that he was similar to them. Boy, was I wrong. This guy is actually someone who cares about his family and spends time with his grandparents every chance he gets. He enjoys working with kids and relates to them in a manner that others could not. He has always had a goofy sense of humor although recently in talking with him, it turns out that he is not conceited and has always been a considerate, sentimental guy who loves people. When I played and sang at his wedding two months ago, I was moved to tears at the stories during the ceremony that were shared by his friends and relatives. Its amazing to me how much I learn about people during weddings and memorial services. When people share their stories, I think, "this is someone I would have liked to get to know and chat with." Mark shared a little about his faith and my jaw hit the pavement when he told me that he was a believer and had been baptized. He shared stories of his teaching and we laughed at the kids reactions of him. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time and it was really good to be able to spend time catching up on each other's lives. I am grateful for this day in so many ways. I feel blessed that God opened my eyes to see the true colors of a person that is serving not only the children of City Heights, but is also serving the kingdom of God. Some of the greatest treasures are right in front of us and if we spend time and look past the obvious, we can find a diamond in the rough that is priceless!

The RC Friday night post

This has been the week of graduations. I didn't attend any, but I have looked at enough Facebook photos. Today I was engulfed by the Heritage Homeschool Network while I was at College Avenue. I was relocated to the CEC building which is always an adventure since I have to climb up and down the stairs trying to locate my students every half hour. I think its great if people have no other alternative but to homeschool their children and then throw them into a few planned activities with other homeschool families. No offense to my readers, but it sure feels like I am around people who are a part of a cult. I have never taught any homeschool children but I know of a lady who does and she seems to understand the demands that the parents put on the teachers. One person doesn't just take a lesson, the entire family sits in and learns as a community. Right off the bat, I know that wouldn't work for me since its hard enough to keep the focus of one child during the time I am teaching. It sure would be nice to have those connections and get referrals to teach a bunch of kids throughout the week. I know that they would practice and welcome the opportunity to perform in a recital at the end of the year. In other news...I have decided that I am going to restrict my sugar consumption as part of a fast for Saddleback Church. I know my body will be screaming every time I walk by baked goods in the store, but I really think this sugar addiction needs to be broken for my sanity and my health. Speaking of my health, I made a promise to my body that I would start exercising daily so that it can wake up from the 7 year hibernation I have placed it in. I have been to the gym off and on, but it has been nothing like the days of me working out for 2 hours and actually walking away feeling energized and revitalized. I suppose my popularity would start to increase the moment I drop 50 lbs and then I can go out and feel like I'm a human being again. I did this once before 10 years ago and my life changed dramatically. If I had one of those super magnetic force fields, it wouldn't matter if I was 2 feet tall or 400 lbs, I would be able to attract people. I have to work with what the Lord gave me. No problem, my character is being refined and I know that life doesn't always stay the same. The last 6 months are testament to what a whirlwind of activity I have been involved with. Speaking of exercise, its time to get up and move! So, this is the summer to lift those sails and start sailing North. This island is boring me and I'm ready for some new adventures!

Addiction to self

> I'll let you in on a secret, I love shopping online at amazon.com! I think I would rather shop there than go to a store and push around a cart from aisle to aisle only to pick up more than I had ever intended. As I was looking at my mountain of books today, it dawned on me that I might have a problem. Yes, for fear of admitting that I have a problem, I will confess...I have an addiction. The sad thing, is that I know this and I know why I have a problem. When I was a little kid, I was really poor. Poor as in having only 2 skirts to wear to school everyday. One was pink and the other was a darker pink. My clothes were shabby, my shoes were falling apart, and I'm sure my hair was a rat's nest since I didn't understand that you don't brush wavy,thick hair. I suppose I could go and seek professional help and fork over 150.00 an hour for someone to probe and ask questions, but I have gone down that road and know that the person who has the answers is sitting right here in front of this screen. Our minds are extremely powerful. We can either listen to positive uplifting thoughts, or we can dwell in the pit of negative thoughts. That is where Jesus comes in. Since I have filled my mind with scripture, Bible studies, inspirational books and messages, the negative thoughts are not overwhelming. In fact, they have grown tamer and are not such a nuisance throughout the day. I've lived life just doing my own thing and not having a care for how my actions affected others. That type of life is empty, lonely, and absolutely dismal. Living a selfish day to day existence, focuses your attention on how you compare to others around you. You try and measure your self-worth by how many friends you have on Facebook, how many texts you get during the hour, how many people want to "hang out" with you during the week. Its a life that is focused on well placed lipstick and fancy cars. A life that eventually leads to a major dead end. This summer means a great deal to me. Its the summer that I will finally overcome my addiction. I will focus on being a contributor to life and slowly shed the layers of dead skin that have suffocated the living, breathing cells of rebirth and growth. I will most likely fall a few dozen times, but I will get up and try again. Its in the getting back up where we learn the greatest lessons about our will. This time instead of doing it all by myself, I'll hang on to Jesus and let Him transform me from the inside out.